My son and I used to live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. He was once in his stroller on Bedford Avenue when a twentysomething guy emerged from his apartment on North 8th Street decked out in full hipster uniform. He was as skinny as OC-era Mischa Barton, with minuscule black pegged jeans, a black hat of the sort Zorro might wear. My son gazed at him and said in the voice of the unselfconscious toddler, “Look at that old witch!”

—from “Williamsburg Year Zero” by Jennifer Baumgardner in What Was The Hipster?